Chapter 35 ~ Do Not Either

Trisha POV

"We will... manage," I managed to say, watching him nod slowly.

"This side," he spoke slowly, strolling towards the other side of the bed. I heard him clearing his throat before he sat down and mutter.

"I am not feeling sleepy," he inhaled deeply, and I looked away for a moment. What did he mean by that?

"Oh," I muttered and sat on the bed's edge. It was way too comfortable.

I kept staring at the glass of milk as silence followed. After a good time, I dared to turn my head, and my eyes widened with shock before a wave of calm ran into my body. He was asleep. His face was on the other side, and I immediately looked at the milk's glass.

He had to drink it first.

I gulped and shifted slightly closer to him.

"Yuvraj," I called him slowly, but he did not answer. I bit on my lips and tried to call him again. "Yuvraj,"

He still did not answer, and I gulped nervously before touching his arm.

"Your milk is getting cold," I said, but he did not move an inch.

"Yuvraj, your milk!" I exclaimed in a slightly higher voice, and he inhaled a deep breath before turning his head to me. His face was sleepy, and the wavy curls of his hair fell on his forehead as he shook his head.

"I do not want," he said, and I gulped, lowering my gaze a little.

I turned back to look at the milk again, and some of me did not want it to go to waste. I hated wasting anything.

"Yuvraj," I called out again and looked at him.

"What?" he asked, opening his eyes, and I said.

"Drink your milk," I said in determination. He stared at me momentarily before palming his face, letting out a frustrated groan, and finally sitting up.

"Fine!" His fine did not seem fine at all.

Though, I ignored it and passed him his glass.

He took it and quickly drank it in one go. He was fast enough that a few drops and one trail of milk flew down his chin.

"Happy," he exhaled, finishing it and placing it in my hand.

"Very," I said and leaned towards the table to place the glass on the table.

Meanwhile, I noticed him move a little, and suddenly, the candles near the table blew off. The darkness wrapped me like a thick comforter. Even the curtains hanging around the bed did not let any brightness invade.

The silence was killing. I could hear the minute noise of my breathing.

Without looking at him, I stretched my legs long and slowly leaned back to get into the bed.

"You did not drink milk?" he said suddenly, and I immediately turned to look at his side. Only a little brightness of the moonlight managed to come in through the tiny holes in the window.

"Um, I forgot," I managed to say, remembering that I did forget drinking it.

"You should drink it, too," he said in a slow voice, and I stared at his face before nodding. It was not an order, not a request, though. He made a polite suggestion, and I just let it go.

"Okay," I muttered, sat up, and leaned to hold the glass. It was almost cold, and I drank it slowly. I could feel his eyes watching me, especially my neck.

I finished and wiped my mouth.

"You like drinking milk?" he asked in a low voice. It was way too silent between us.

"Yes," I breathed. "Sometimes," I added, unsure if we should be talking at this late hour.

"You do not?" I asked, wondering if his dislike of milk was the reason he asked.

"Sometimes not," he replied slowly, and I inhaled deeply before laying back and pulling my braid beneath me to be comfortable.

Speaking of comfort, I was feeling it at its worst.

Sleeping in a cave and tent was different than this. The chamber was huge; no one could hear us talk, and we would never if we did other things. Too.

"Why not?" I managed to ask. The nervousness was making it impossible for the sleepiness to come. "The Kings need power to rule," I said, turning my face towards him. I was lying on my back. "Especially the ones who wish to fight," I hesitated to add, and he stared at me silently before bringing his hand closer to mine but not touching it.

"You also think that... war is for fools?" he asked in a slow voice, and I looked away for a moment.

"I know nothing of wars. But...," I turned my face to him. "I can tell you what loneliness feels and when and how it becomes solace," I said, feeling his finger touch mine.

"Tell me," he breathed, and I looked up at the ceiling. I could notice our broken, scattered reflection through the thousand tiny mirrors. In one broken piece, I could see his finger touching mine—just the tip of over the middle of my index finger. I gulped and slowly pulled my hand back.

The silence spread like stars in the sky. Like they were burning but looked alluring to the eyes.

"Loneliness feels like waking up alone in the morning, wondering how it would feel to wake up with someone. Sometimes, it's due to nightmares, sometimes it's due to too much cold or heat, and sometimes, you just wake up only to remember that you are alone. Opening your eyes, you find no one around you. You would stand up on your own; you would walk out of the home and see the lonely trees standing close to each other but not able to hug. You find the sun alone, rising, spreading its warmth and light around, hoping that someone might hug him back. You see the water in the pond still, the rocks never move, and everything is always the same," my breath stopped as his finger touched mine again. I blinked nervously, and my heartbeats raced as he moved a little closer to me.

"And?" he almost whispered.

"And," I bit on my lip. "And, you just walk through time doing things that never make sense—always wondering where you are going and never moving. For days, you think it will change, but you fail to believe that this could be all. But, one day, you realise it is it. All of these are the only things you will ever get; all of these are the things where you are meant to come. And, once you wake to see the sun out again, see the trees staring at you, to notice the still water in the pond, yet again, but the thunder in your heart is calm, it becomes solace," I said slowly and turned my face to look at him.

He was staring at me and knit his brow for a moment before bringing his hand closer and feathering my palm with his fingers before finally intertwining them loosely. He closed his eyes to inhale deeply.

"Sometimes people are born with this fortune, but other times it is forced upon them," I exclaimed, almost whispering, and he opened his eyes to look back at me.

"Forced upon them?" he asked.

"The ones who lose their close ones to... the wars. It's only two people who cannot settle for peace, and the soldiers lose their lives. Meanwhile, their family, wholeheartedly... broken heartedly, awaits them. Every day, they would wake up, hoping they would come back; they get lonely but never find... solace," I finished, and he broke eye contact for a moment.

"It's their... work," he muttered, and I inhaled deeply.

"Because they do not have anything else to do. The wives wait for them for years to feel their... touch. Their children were born and wed unknown to them while they kept serving the monarchs. They... are treated like trees. Standing there but never able to hug each other," I said, and he shifted himself closer to me, slightly hovering and shaking his head slowly.

"No, they are not. I... I believe they are happy this way," he said, and I could not help but notice his face. His eyes shone brighter amid the darkness, and I shook my head.

"Their wives are not," I breathed in. They...," I gulped with unsteady breaths. They long for their... husbands," my voice shook. Their children do not know how... their father looks," I managed to finish, and he gulped, knit his brows, and pulled my knees up when he leaned in closer.

"How do you know that?" His question turned me silent. My breath hitched when I felt one side of the overcoat of my night dress fall down my knees. We were both inside the comforters, and it made me slightly uncomfortable.

"My friend," I sucked on my lips. "Her husband is in the army," I managed to say, and I could feel his eyes boring into mine. They were making me feel weak. I did not know why.

"His children do not know how their father... looks," I managed to add, and he came closer. I could sense the hesitation in his movements, and he shook his head.

"I did not know about it," his words were low in voice, and he breathed, "Children," lowering his gaze to my lips.

I could feel my heart stop when he leaned in closer slowly and almost touched my lips with his. I bit on them, unable to be touched. He was younger than me. And, a Prince. And, a marriage...

"Children," his voice was not above a whisper, but it sent a shiver down my spine.

And, a marriage for the children existed between us.

"Do you think... we shoul—"

"Yes," I breathed before collecting my thoughts on this. The promises we made to each other before our wedding began to alarm in my head.

"But I know nothing... of what to do," I managed to say, and I felt his feet touching mine. I could not stop myself from rolling my toes.

He shook his head. I could feel his breaths shallowing, too. I did not know what was happening to me.

"Um, I do not know much either," he said, lowering his gaze to my lips again; our foreheads touched, and I heard him stutter.

"I know... I mean the... the that has to go,"

"I know," I cut him off and closed my eyes. It's right," I breathed. Your fath-," I lost my voice. His father needed a child.

His heartbeats were almost audible now.

"I know we should... do it faster," he whispered, and I fisted, wondering what I should do.

"What should... I do?" I managed to ask. My voice was shaky and breathless.

"The... dress," he breathed; I felt him shifting closer to me, his leg slipping between mine, and suddenly, he lost his balance and fell almost over me.

My eyes shut closed, feeling nervous and uneasy.

"Dress," I said in an absolutely low voice and took my hand inside the comforter.

"I think you should... pull it up... a little," his words made me feel flushed but thankfully he could not see it.

We could only feel each other.

My fingers trembled as I parted the overcoat and pulled the inner dress up. My body was slightly shaking, and I was unable to calm myself.

He was feeling no different. His breaths were audible now, and I felt him taking his fingers close to his lower.

My gaze lowered to his chest, and he immediately said. "Do... do not look... down,"

I immediately lifted my gaze. His eyes were closed. His lips were trembling. I moved my hand away from my inner thighs when I felt him finished fighting with his lower.

My eyes shut, too.

"I think... I am ready," he whispered over my lips, and I fisted my hand on the bed sheet. I did not know what to expect.

My heart was ready to jump out of my chest at any moment. And my breath hitched when he shifted closer between my legs.

"I think... you sh... should widen your legs," he breathed, and my mouth opened as I felt his knuckles brushing mistakenly against my inner thighs.

"Ohh," I managed to say, opening my leg a little.

"Uhmm," he inhaled deeply, and I lay frozen when he touched me. I did not know how to explain it. It was hot and harrowing.

"Whe... where?" he asked in a slow voice and my brows knit in confusion.

"Umm, ah, I do not know," I managed to say. I could hardly breathe, let alone think and speak.

"Ohh," he pressed his forehead against the side of my head, and I bit my lips when I felt him poking into my untouched region.

He tried to push himself into me, and suddenly, it slipped, and my heartbeats stopped, and he breathed unevenly. I could hear his breath dripping into my ear, making me feel different—something I could not comprehend.

"Did it go... inside?" he asked, and I opened my eyes. I tried to feel myself, but I felt nothing.

"I do not think so," I managed to whisper, and he lifted himself again.

"Ohh, okay, it's... getting painful," he muttered, and I lifted my gaze to look into his eyes. I did not know, but in the darkness, I was able to look into them.

His brows were knit, dark, and long. His forehead was broad, and a trail of sweat lowered down the curve of his cheek through the side, above his ear. His nose was pointy, and when he brought himself insanely closer to me again, I could feel it touch my cheek. His upper lip was medium and had a deep cupid's bow that always managed to catch my eyes. His lower lips were fuller, and they were as dark as the shade of beetroot.

"Urgh," he breathed in deeply, and my breaths stopped.

I felt him poking into me again, and it was shaking me. I tried to calm myself amid the new feelings and sensations. It felt as if someone was poking a stone at me.

My mouth hung open, and suddenly, a low hiss escaped my lips when it went in.

"Annnhh," my voice broke, and my eyes shut closed. My whole body froze. My nerves ached, and my heartbeats stopped. It hurts.

I inhaled deeply, and my hand was immediately pushed against his chest. "Ahhhouchh," I could not stop myself. It was painful!

"Did it hurt?" he asked in a shaky breath. I managed to look into his eyes before nodding. My eyes tore up, and he exhaled deeply.

"I think... it's supposed to feel good," he muttered, and I shook my head. It was hurting. It felt like he tore me apart.

"Ohhh, I am sorry," he immediately pulled himself back, and I quickly pressed my thighs together.

"I am so sorry. I did not know it hurt," he breathed. I could not help but turn my face to the side.

"I am sorry. I think... I should... go, leave," he blabbered, and I palmed my mouth.

What the hell just happened?

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Chapter 36 ~ Panic Attack

Abhinandan POV

What the hell had just happened?

Did it hurt her? How could it?

I was told that the woman enjoys sleeping with a man. Then how could she complain of being hurt? Was something wrong? Or did I do something wrong?

I came to my chamber and sat down on the bed, holding my head in my hands. My hardness had vanished. I did not know what was wrong.

My fingers were shaking; I could not settle my thoughts on anything. The moment she cried out was alarming in my head. My heartbeats were so fast that they could jump out at any moment. Her painful cry sent a shiver down my body.

I immediately stood up. I hurt her.

But I promised not to hurt her, not like this. But what went wrong?

Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply and tried to calm myself down first. I needed to meet the physician. She must be feeling a lot of pain.

I immediately walked out of the chamber and headed towards the physicians' quarter. I did not think of sending any messenger to keep it secret.

Once I reached it, I slowly walked towards the lady physician and knocked on her door. She answered in a few moments by opening the door.

"Yuvraj," she muttered and immediately bent down to greet me.

"You have to come with me," I said in a slow voice. She stared at me for a few moments and then nodded.

"Oh, Okay," she said and went in again to collect a few of her things.

"Where?" she asked, and I bit my lip nervously before telling her.

"To my... wife's chamber," I spoke, and she nodded.

"Okay," she said, and we both silently and hurriedly walked towards her chamber. Stepping inside, I closed the door and walked towards the bed.

Parting the curtains, I saw Trisha almost asleep. She inhaled a deep breath, noticed me, and asked.

"You are back," she said, and I shook my head.

My heart ached even when I saw her face. She was hurt, and I was the reason for all of this. I could not do a single thing right to her.

"I called... the physician," I managed to say, and the physician approached closer and she looked at me.

"Why?" she asked, and I stepped aside a little so the physician could see her.

"You were hurt," I said. She stared at me for a few moments and then nodded slowly. She looked confused. But why?

"What happened?" the Physician asked her, and I immediately said. "She is hurt. I mean... I hurt her by mistake," I said, and she stared at me while blinking silently before nodding.

"Um, yes," she said, pushing a loose strand behind her hair.

"How?" the physician asked, and I did not know why it was getting slightly awkward.

She lowered her gaze for a moment and muttered. "We were consummating... and it hurt,"

"Yes, she cried," I added, and the physician stood silent. She lifted her gaze to stare at me and then nodded.

"Ohh, okay," she finally said and looked away momentarily.

"It hurt a lot?" she asked, and Trisha looked at her in confusion. She was making her uncomfortable.

"What do you ask, stupid question? How does it matter if it hurts a lot? It hurt her. Tell me what is wrong. And is she okay?" I said, and she looked at me with silent eyes before nodding.

"ji, Ji, Yuvraj, of course," she said and sat beside her.

"Would you mind if I showed you where it is hurting?" she asked, and my eyes widened with shock.

"Why do you want to see that? Could you not suggest some medicine to ease up the pain or"

"Yuvraj, it might be due to some tearing or something else," she said, looking into my eyes. "I will need to see it," she said, and I could not breathe all of a sudden.

"Tearing?" I asked, unable to believe what the hell I had done to her.

How could I be so careless and harmful to her?

"Can you wait there?" Suddenly, Trisha asked, and I looked at her momentarily.

"No," I said. I will stay here by your side," I said, and she looked at the physician.

"You should lie down, pull your knees up, and part your legs wide," the physician said, and I immediately shook my head.

"What the fuck are you asking her to do?" I asked, my voice almost irritated and frustrated.

"How will she know if she would not see?" Trisha interfered, and I could feel my palm sweating. "By knowing things?" I said, wondering if the physician could treat her without seeing her. I mean, I would never let someone see me naked as it makes me really uncomfortable, not even the physicians.

"Alright, turn your head around at least," Trisha asked me in a slow and pleading voice. I placed my hand on my chest. It was aching really badly, and I did not want to look away from her for a single moment.

But I nodded. "Okay," I said and turned my face to the other side.

I heard her slight movement on the bed. I could not see her, but I could feel what was happening.

"Anh," Trisha cried a little, and I immediately turned out.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, my voice raised, finding her legs open and her hand near to the wrong place.

Trisha immediately covered her legs, and my hand went for the knife in my waistband.

"Yuvraj!" The physician took a step back out of fear as I approached her with the knife with quick steps. It almost reached her neck.

"Abhinan, stop," Trisha's voice caught my attention, and I could feel my blood boiling.

"How dare you hurt her?" I asked, unable to control myself at this moment.

"I am not hurt. She did not," Trisha said, and I shook my head.

"I saw her," I said, and the physician shook her head.

"She is absolutely fine. She is just sore. It happens during the first or initial times. She is absolutely fine. Her pain or soreness will go away in two or three days," the physician exclaimed without a breath, and I just stared angrily at her.

Suddenly, I felt Trisha's hand on my wrist, and she tried to push the blade down her neck.

"You should leave. I will talk to him," she said to her. I gulped, closing my eyes for a moment.

"Ji, ji, I am sorry, Yuvraj," she said, immediately running from there. I heard the door close and felt Trisha pulling the blade out of my hold.

"What are you doing? You would have killed her," she said, and I immediately looked at her.

My voice was lost, and when I saw her face, I immediately wrapped my arms around her.

"I am sorry. I am so so sorry," I closed my eyes, hugging her tightly and could not stop myself from saying. "I did not want to hurt you. I did not know," I said in a breaking voice and heard the blade clattering on the floor, and she stayed still. Almost frozen.

I did not like how the physician touched her and hurt her. What the hell was she doing with her? I turned my head around briefly, and she felt her there. How could she?

"It's okay," she replied in a low voice, placing her hand on my chest to push me away. My eyes met her, and she gulped confusingly with a slow nod. "I am okay,"

"Are you sure? I mean, leave this child thing. I do not want a child. I do not want to hurt you. I will sleep in my chamber, and you will sleep here. I do not know anything. Ju... just be fine, and I am sorry, I am so sorry," I said, and suddenly I could feel I was getting short on my breath.

"Abhi," she breathed, and I could feel my heart aching even more.

"Look at me," she said, and I shook my head, unable to look into her eyes for a long. "I am sorry. I did not know. I swear. I did not know any of it. I did not know my father took his turban off to convince you. I always thought you had the option..." I could feel my breath cutting out any moment. I did not want anyone to see me like this, not her. "I thought... I cannot breat...," I closed my eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked in a worried voice, and I shook my head. "I cannot bre... breathe," I tried to say and my eyes tore up with the uneasiness and weakness in my body.

"I did not know that... you did it... Anh, I cannot breathe," I closed my eyes and began to feel like I was losing control of my body. My head turned heavier, and suddenly, he cupped my cheek.

"Abhinan," her voice faded away. "Abhi, open your eyes," her words slowed down. I was losing my senses, and suddenly, I felt like losing everything, and I felt a soft thud.

"Ouch, you are heavy," I heard her and felt her caressing my cheek. "Abhi, I am okay. You heard her, right? She said it happens. You did not hurt me," her voice was shallowing, and I could not help but shake my head.

I always keep making mistakes. I did not want to hurt her, but I still hurt her. I did not know anything. I always do not know anything.

"I am sorry," I tried to say, but suddenly, she pushed me away, and I felt the mild touch of her hand on my cheek.

"Open your eyes. What's wrong? You are scaring me," she said, but her words were unclear, and I could feel my heartbeats losing. I could not feel my body either. It was like my hands and legs disappeared.

"I should call the physician," I heard her say in her breaking voice, and I did not want her to leave me. I tried to hold her hand. "No, no, no, no, please do not," I muttered, and she began to slap my cheeks slowly.

"Okay, wake up. Tell me, what's wrong?" she asked, and I shook my head. A lone tear fell down my cheek, and suddenly, she placed her hand on my chest and gently began to caress me.

"I am perfectly fine. It was just a minute of pain. It is not even bothering me anymore now. You did not hurt me," her words broke. I could sense that she was in pain. And it was all because of me—my foolishness. My father was right; I was foolish.

"I am sorry," I tried to say, and slowly, my heartbeats began to come back. I started to feel my body again as she kept caressing my chest; I was able to open my eyes.

My breaths were still uneven.

The first thing I saw was her worried face. She shook her head, caressing my cheek.

"What happened to you?" she asked, and I felt her hovering over me. I shook my head.

"I do not know," I tried to say and closed my eyes.

"You scared me," she muttered, placing her forehead over mine.

"You stupid, brainless, idiot brat. Who made you a Prince?" I heard her say, and suddenly, she slapped me on my cheek a little.

"You almost killed me," she said, and I opened my eyes.

"I swear I did not know it would hurt you," I said, and she nodded and caressed my cheek. Her touch was softer than the comforts of everything I had ever felt. It was pure, and for the first time, I saw something in her eyes that I could not explain.

"Yes, I heard enough of it. Stop now," she said, and I inhaled a deep breath. I was feeling better now.

"I did not want anyone to touch you," I tried to say, and she nodded.

"Yes, I realised that now," she said, and I opened my eyes. "What happened to you all of a sudden? Hn, was it just because you heard me wince a little?" she asked, and I bit my lips.

"I do not know," I said and looked away. It happens when I feel out of control, like when I feel disoriented, and it's the second time it's happened," I could not stop myself from saying and tried to sit up.

"I think you should sleep," I tried to say, and she placed her hand on my shoulder.

"You can... sleep here," she said, and I shook my head.

"I should not. I do not want to hurt you anymore, not like this, not like anything. I know why you did everything you did. And I do not know what I am feeling," I stood up and stepped ahead to leave.

"Stay," she said, and my feet froze.

"I should not," I tried to say.

"I said, stay," she said in a slightly low voice, and I closed my eyes, inhaling a deep breath.

"But—"

"It was just... I did not expect it to pain. It disappeared very quickly, too. It's just a... just a feeling of unease now," she said, and I bit my lips.

"Still, we should never try it again," I said, unable to think correctly.

"We... will see," she said, and I sat back on the bed.

"I am sorry," I could not help but say again, and she said nothing else.

All I felt was her lying on the bed under the comforters, and I did, too. I could not face her again. It all happened with her scent and her face. I just could not stop myself.

I was ready; I was hard, and she agreed to it, too. I thought I would spill my thing into her, as an old friend said.

But everything went wrong. My thing did not come out inside her. And I ended up hurting her. What the fuck went wrong?

I would not have liked talking about women if it had not been for Trisha, and it never changed in the six years. And, even speaking in her context, I did not like bringing up anything I would not want to happen between us. And, consummation was one of those things. I never thought it would happen, so I never thought about it and never considered knowing about it much.

The only thing I knew was the basic knowledge of how children are born. I knew the man had to spill his thing inside the woman, and I thought it would be easy.

But it was terrible, and it hurt me a little, too. I could not comprehend how or when.

"Abhi," Trisha called me slowly, and I felt her hand on my bicep. "Look at me," she said, and I gulped with fear while turning myself a little and looking at her.

"What happened to you? Why... how?" she asked, and I felt her placing her hand on my chest.

"I do not know," I said, shaking my head.

"When did it happen first?" she asked, and I closed my eyes. I could still feel my fingers shaking.

"Wh... when I lost my grandfather," I said, and she caressed my chest.

"So, you feared that you would lose me, too?" she asked, with knit brows, and I did not know what exactly I felt.

But, yes, I did not want to hurt her and lose her.

"Maybe," I managed to say, and she closed her eyes momentarily.

"It was just a little bit of pain. How can someone die with a little pain?" she said, and he gulped, "My grandfather did," I said, remembering the days when he used to love me the most. And one day, he just felt a pain in his chest and died.

She shook her head. "I would not die with pain," her words calmed something in me, and I bit on my lip to stop them tremble and nodded.

"Oh... Ohhhkay," I said, and she lay down on the bed beside me.

"You scared the hell out of me. Your family would have been killed if they knew something had happened to you while you were with me. Everyone knows how our wedding happened, and they would have thought that I murdered you. You cannot even believe how much you scared me. I was almost dead," she said in an angry voice, and I shifted a little on my side and touched her hand gently.

"I am sorry," I tried to say, but she immediately turned to look at me and brought her face closer. Before I could understand, she pecked on my cheek and shook her head.

"Do not dare to scare me like this again, ever," she said, and I stared blankly into her eyes.

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Chapter 37 ~ Play Pregnant

Trisha POV

I felt scared and terrible. The way he fell on the bed and almost lost consciousness, I freaked out. For a moment, I thought I would lose him. And, it did something to me.

I did not want to lose him forever, not like this, not like anything.

Seeing him like that made me feel bad for him. Deep inside, I forgot everything that happened to me and realised he was the same sixteen-year-old Abhinandan who feared even looking into my eyes.

His senseless pleading and begging for forgiveness broke something in me.

And, seeing him scared, tensed and low was not a sight to behold.

So, I could not stop myself from pecking on his cheek momentarily.

"I am alright, I promise," I tried to assure him yet again, but he did not believe me.

I never found him so caring towards me that it bothered me deeply. He pulled his knife out to kill the physician just because she touched me between my legs, and I winced in slight pain.

Yes, it was paining. Still.

I did not know what kind of it was. It felt more like aching. It was like he was inside me for only a few moments and left me with an uneasy feeling. I could not take my mind off it. It was bringing my attention again and again to it.

And it happened so fast that I could not even feel it properly.

Suddenly, Yuvraj came closer and hugged me tightly. My eyes shut immediately, and my breath hitched when he muttered. "I am sorry for everything. I really am. I just wanted to marry you anyhow, and you—"

"Shhhh," I hushed him and opened my eyes before patting him gently and adding up. "You should sleep,"

He did not move, and I felt as if there was something different about him. One moment, he was angry; the other, he was calm, and like his older, younger self was back.

"You are heavy, you know," I said in a slow voice, and he inhaled sharply near my neck. I closed my eyes, and a tiny smile appeared on my face. He was such a baby.

I took my hand closer to the back of his head and touched his hair. They were softer for a man, just like him.

"I am really sorry," he muttered again, and I clicked my tongue with frustration.

"You did nothing to hurt me, not at least today. The physician said it hurts... in the initial times. And... and, stop saying sorry again and again. It irks me," I said in a slow voice, and he lifted his face a little to look into my eyes.

"You forgive me?" he asked, and I lay stunned beside him. "For what?" I asked, and he lowered his gaze and closed his eyes momentarily.

"For... everything?" he asked, and I immediately looked away before gently pushing him away.

"We should sleep," I said and turned my face opposite him.

"So, you do not," he said, and I gulped silently.

Forgiving was a small word for the feeling it caused. Forgiving means forgetting; I was terrible at forgetting things and would never be able to.

"Good night," I said and closed my eyes, pulling the comforters up my shoulders.

"You do not? Right?" he asked again, and I did not answer anything. "You do not?" he added. I could feel him getting impatient.

"Trisha, you do not forgive me, right?" he asked again, and I inhaled a deep breath.

"Do you not sleep at night?" I asked, and he immediately replied, sleeping beside me and placing his on me.

"No, I cannot," he said and added, shaking me a little. "When will you forgive me?" he asked further, and I sighed deeply.

"For what?" I asked, and he held my hand to turn me to him.

"For tonight," he said in a slow voice, and I immediately replied.

"I have forgiven you for it. Now, let me sleep," I said, and he left my arm and laid back silently.

"Thank you. I feel really better," he said, and I closed my eyes. I was almost asleep when he brought the physician.

How could he even think of bringing a physician after performing the act? He was a man, and he was supposed to know things. I was mistaken. He was a child. I was stuck with a man-child.

Closing my eyes, I tried to fall asleep but fell him holding my hand while loosely hugging me from behind.

There was silence between us for a long until he chose to speak in a low voice. "I promise I did not mean to hurt you. I know you do not believe a word I say. I know you think I am problematic, but I really wanted to marry you, and everyone wants to know why," his voice was so low that I realised that he believed that I was asleep. "I do not know why. I really hope I know why I wanted to be with you. It would have been a thousand times easier," he whispered, kissing the back of my head and muttered.

"Good night,"

I felt him pulling his hands back and shifting away from me. I heard him step down from the bed and walk away from there.

I opened my eyes once he left and gulped silently and nervously.

I really hoped he knew; it would have been a thousand times better to be with him in the same bed.

Inhaling deeply, I shifted to his side and inhaled the pillows. Everything smelled of him, and it wrapped me like a mush comforter of peace and something that I could not explain.

It did not take me much time to sleep on this side. I woke up when I heard the anklet bells giggle and felt the slight sunlight falling into my eyes.

"Good morning, Princess," I heard an attendee wish, and I inhaled a deep breath.

"What is good about this morning?" I asked slowly, and suddenly, Maasa's voice caught my attention.

"Something is good about this morning, Trisha,"

I immediately stepped down the bed and placed the dupatta on my head.

"Maasa," I muttered, stepped down the stairs of the bed, and touched her feet first. She held my shoulder and looked at my face.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, and I nodded, slightly nervous. "Yes," I added.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked again, and I immediately nodded.

I did not want her to know what happened between Yuvraj and me last night.

Wait. A lot of things happened between Yuvraj and me, and suddenly, I did not know how to face him. He took me last night.

Oh My God!

"Good," Maasa's voice caught my attention, and I immediately lowered my gaze.

"There are a few rituals that need to be done. So, get ready," she said, and I noticed a group of attendees walking in with huge plates of things. They had varieties of attire, jewellery, and everything I wholeheartedly hated. They were heavy. And I liked freedom.

"Oh," I managed to say, and suddenly, I noticed Daadisa walking in, too.

"Where is my new daughter-in-law?" she asked, and I noticed her smiling a lot.

"Daadisa," I muttered, walking closer to her to touch her feet.

"God Bless you," she said and kissed my forehead.

"Umm, why are you smiling like Abhinandan?" she suddenly asked, and my eyes widened with shock.

"Um," I was lost for words.

"So, you two?" she asked, and Maasa interrupted.

"Maasa, do not tease her," she said, and I lowered my gaze, feeling redness on my cheek.

"We hugged," I said in a low voice, and she hummed. "Hmmmmmm, hugged, nice," her words twisted something inside my stomach, and Maasa caught my attention.

"Trisha, all of them will help in getting ready. I must look after a few arrangements. Nandani wishes to return so that Ranaji will arrive today. It's going to be a busy day," she said, and I looked at her.

"I can help," I offered, and I wanted to help her. I needed some work to do.

"Where are your toe rings?" Daadisa asked suddenly, and I noticed Maasa lowering her gaze to my feet, too.

"Yes, where are your toe rings?" she asked, and I stood stunned.

"Umm—"

"I took them off." Yuvraj's voice suddenly caught my attention, and we all immediately turned to look at him.

"Why?" Maasa asked, and he looked scared a little, too. "A Married woman never takes her toe rings off. You should have known that," she said to him, and he nodded, walking closer to us.

"I am sorry, Maasa. I did not like the design, so I brought her a simpler one," he said, and I lowered my gaze to his hands. There was a scroll and a wooden box.

"Ohh," Maasa said, and he stood before us.

"I need to talk to her. Can you two please leave?" he asked with utter politeness. Maasa looked at me for a moment. I nodded slightly.

"I will be ready; do not worry, Maasa," I said, and Daadisa sighed deeply.

"I walked miles to see my daughter-in-law, and now I must leave," she said, and I immediately looked at Yuvraj.

"I think Daadisa should stay," I tried to say, and he shook his head.

"She is always dramatic. Do not listen to her," he said, and Daadisa slapped him into his chest.

"Dare you say that again, and I will beat you up with a stick," she said, and Yuvraj smiled before helping her walk out of the chamber.

"You know, I love you so much," he said, and I smiled, looking at them.

"Is everything okay? Trisha," Maasa asked me again. I did not know if I should tell her about what happened last night, but he did not want anyone to know.

"Yes, Maasa. We just talked," I said, and she hugged me before kissing my forehead.

"Let me know if he asks you to do anything stupid," she said, and I smiled, nodding a little.

"Of course," I said and noticed her walk out.

Yuvraj came back in a few moments, and I looked at the attendees, who were waiting to dress me up.

"All of you, leave us alone," he ordered, signalling everyone to leave. I gulped with a slight uneasiness. I was still in the nightgown, and the doors closed.

"Come here, sit," he said, walking around the couch and taking a seat. I walked to the couch, too, and took a seat beside him.

There was something different in his eyes today. He looked energetic, better and in good spirits.

"I need your help," he said, and I looked up at him.

"In what?" I asked, and he opened a scroll before me. It was a long one, and he placed it over the table and said.

"After last night, I got an idea, and I want your help to present it to the King so that he makes some changes," he said, and I knit my brows in confusion.

"What changes?" I asked, and he gulped.

"After talking to you, an... and whatever happened, I could not sleep and went to the soldier's quarter. After talking to many, I realised they were very distant from their families, and some do not even know how their children look," he said, and I lowered my gaze to the scroll. It was more like a list with many names.

"So, I am thinking that we should make a... umm, a proper procedure and rules and regulations for the staff and soldiers," he said, and a smile appeared on my lips.

"And since you were the one who helped me look into it, I want your help to lead me further," he said, and I shook my head.

"How can I?" I asked, and he lowered his gaze to the scroll.

"This is the list of the departments where the soldiers and staff work. I am thinking of keeping them on the same wages but with leaves. Like they could go home for four months in one year, and it will help them to be motivated and work better," he said, and I smiled.

"That is a... good idea, indeed," I said and looked at him. "But, I think you should speak of it with your father and your family instead of me," I suggested, and he shook his head.

"I wanted to discuss it with you first," he said, and I sighed deeply, shaking my head.

"I do not wish to take part in such matters. I do not wish to be the Queen," I said, standing up from the couch. Suddenly, he held my hand and said,

"I would have asked you even if you were not my wife. It is because you helped me to see it, not because I wanted you to become a Queen against your wish," his words made me close my eyes, and I shook my head.

"I do not know if my help is what people will like, especially in the administrations and Kingdom's matters," I said. Suddenly, he pulled me back, and I almost fell on him.

"You were ready last night to make a child with me, who would be the most important thing for the Kingdom, and you fear to talk about these small matters?" he asked, and I opened my eyes to look into his.

How could he say this?

"You married me for the child, not for these small matters, Yuvraj," I tried to remind him. Suddenly, he stood up and wrapped his arm around my waist. My eyes widened with shock, and he cupped my cheek, briefly lowering his gaze to my lips.

"So, making a child with me is easier than discussing these matters?" he asked, and I did not know what had happened to him suddenly.

He did not seem like the same person as last night, and I stared blankly into his eyes.

"Perhaps," I breathed, and he immediately brought his lips closer to mine. As always, I quickly moved my lips aside. It always scared me.

"Why move away, then?" he asked, gently brushing his lips against my cheek. I closed my eyes. What was he doing to me?

"This is the fifth time you have tried to touch my lips with yours. I suppose you know... what is needed to make a child is elsewhere," I muttered in a slow voice. He pulled back slowly and looked into my eyes with slightly knit brows for a few moments.

"So, you want me to begin... kissing... you from there?" His words sent a shiver down my spine, and I immediately pushed him away.

"Are you out of your mind?" I turned away and closed my eyes. How could he speak like this?

Suddenly, he pulled me back to him and looked into my eyes. "No, I am not. I am very serious," he said, and I felt like I could not breathe anymore. The memories of last night, his hardness poking into me, made me feel goosebumps. The memories were more effective than the reality. "What do you want of us, Trisha?" he asked, and I looked up into his eyes.

"What happened to you?" I asked and felt my heart beats racing wild.

He stared into my eyes for a moment, lowered his gaze to my lips and then again looked up into my eyes.

"Something," he breathed.

"What?" I asked.

"Something," he said, and I felt his hand pulling me closer to him.

"Stop, what are you doing? Anyone can walk in," I tried to say, and he looked into my eyes.

"So?"

His words sent a shiver down my spine, and he smiled a little.

"You are my wife," he said, and I knit my brows with confusion.

"So?" I asked, and he looked away for a moment.

"So, you promised to help me in everything while taking the holy rounds around the fire. You remember?" he said, and I rolled my eyes.

"You are impossible," I said, and suddenly, he brought his face closer and pecked my lips for a fraction of a second.

My eyes widened with shock.

"Come on, dear wife, help your husband," he said, pulling his hand back and walking back to the couch.

I sighed with frustration.

"Husband, my foot," I said, and he laughed a little.

"Come on, Trisha. Help me with this," he said, sitting down on the couch. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"You are up to something. I can feel that," I said, and he smiled, looked at me, and nodded a little.

"Yes, and?" he asked, and I looked away.

"I cannot believe that you are the same person who said a thousand sorries last night," I said, walking to him and sat down beside him.

He smiled and opened the scroll before me again.

"I am," he said, and suddenly he asked.

"Are you okay? Is it still hurting?"

And I shook my head.

"Why? Do you want to try again?" I asked, and he immediately replied back.

"I do not," he said, and I looked up at him.

"I have realised I wanted to marry you because I wanted us to be friends like before. Like seeing each other, talking to each other and helping each other. The way we used to be. You would help me with the task that Guruji gave, and I would help you with the work. But, having my trust murdered, my self-respect did not allow me to beg for your friendship again,"

"And, what changed?" I asked, and he looked into my eyes.

"Everything. You were never against me, I realised. I cannot be separated from my family; my father is my family, too. You only helped him and indirectly wished to help me. I was foolish, and I am happy this time to accept it openly," he said, and I nodded, lowering my gaze.

"So, no child?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"No, I feel better this way," he said, and I sucked on my lips.

"And what about your father's wishes?" I asked, and he lowered his gaze.

"We can get a pregnant girl who does not wish to keep the baby. And you can play pregnant alongside her. So, once that baby is born, we tell my father that it's ours," he said, and my eyes widened with shock.

"Are you out of your mind?" I asked, holding his chin to make him look at me.

"No, I am not," he said in a determined voice.

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