So, I got into a really fucked up situation. The thumb of my left hand would not move. It's swelling and hurting, and it happened all of a sudden. No incidents. I was just for the whole day and just two hours this happened. I'm Gonna see if this heals by morning, or I will see the Doctor. I will let you know whatever will be updates. It's hurting so fucking much.

Chapter 31 ~ Balance

Abhinandan POV

"Let me help," I offered, stepping down from the bed to pick up the remaining pieces of her jewellery.

My emotions were a tangled mess, a storm raging within me; despite my disdain for her, or perhaps because of it, I found myself yearning for her. And in the midst of this turmoil, I ended up causing her pain.

I knew it should not have been that way –the kind of wedding we had. When she asked me how difficult it was to accept that I wanted to marry because I liked her, I felt like lightning struck me. I could not think of it.

I was lost in a sea of uncertainty. Did I truly care for her? Did I even know what I felt?

But seeing her shed tears, I could not help but realise that I behaved like the most selfish man ever present. How could I not see her pain?

Closing my eyes, I sighed deeply and bit on my lips. It was all messed up, more than it already was. People were hating on me. I was hating on them. I had reasons imprinted on my mind to hate each one of them. And Trisha was one among them.

I had reasons to hate her, too. But, the shell of those reasons, the egg, the lining was slowly shattering, shaking my peace. I could not help but feel that hating someone, her, was relatively easier than facing the truth that now she was hurt. Actually.

I wanted to hurt her. It was as simple as that. Maybe the reason I showed up was one of the fools, but she did not give me any options.

"Yuvraj," her voice brought me out of my thoughts. I turned my head to find her standing beside me and lowering her gaze to the anklets I was holding.

"You do not have to do this. The Princes are meant for the bigger duties, I assume, rather than lowering themselves to their wife's feet," her words made me blink silently. I could understand the taunting behind her use of the word 'wife'.

I bit the inside of my lower lip and firmed my hold on the anklets when she tried to pull them off my hold.

Trishalini POV

"When I was little, my father used to call my mother for many things, and I used to feel irritated. I wanted her to be with me all the time. So one day," he began and looked into my eyes before continuing in the slow voice. "I went into the court and raised my issue. I told the King that my father was separating my mother from me, and the whole court laughed. Because he is the King and my father. But my father did not laugh. Instead, he stepped down from the throne and walked to me. Kneeling to meet my height, he looked into my eyes. And he said that he was sorry to do so knowingly or unknowingly. But he was bound to take advice from my mother, listen to her, and spend time with her. And when I questioned why. He smiled weakly and said that a King can rule a Kingdom like a man. He can win the wars, he can protect, he can be a fatherly figure. However, a queen serves as a mother not only to her children but to thousands of others. The decisions taken by a man are relatively rigid, direct and practical, whereas a woman is known to be emotional and caring, and these both things must go side by side so that the Kingdoms are protected and... provided," he said, I just stared blankly into his eyes.

His voice was low, and I did not know what to make of this. Our hands were holding the silver anklet on either side. "So?" I breathed, gulping nervously.

He sucked on his lips, gulped nervously, lowered his gaze for a moment and then spoke with a pleading voice. "So, as much as I understood, a man must lower himself before his wife to... make the balance," he lifted his gaze, and I inhaled deeply. His words were making me feel weak in my knees. I shook my head slowly.

"Balance is not what we seek. I am here for a purpose, and I must adhere to that," I said, and he stepped closer. My heartbeats raced, and I immediately turned to take a step away.

"What if the purpose cannot be served until there is a balance?" he asked, and I closed my eyes and lowered my face.

"I am not fit to be the one you intend to seek from me. I know nothing of being someone you should lower yourself to," I tried to say, and I felt him walking closer to me. His hand touched my arm, and I looked into his eyes.

"How about I lower myself first, and then we can find out?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"The throne is not what I desire. It is not what I am made for. It scares me,"

"It scares me, too," he cut me off, and I could feel my heart beating. It was making me weak. His words were weighing too much that I could handle.

"My grandfather said that a great King is one who holds a vision for the future and works according to that. And I know nothing of visions. I cannot even see what I will do tomorrow. But I know one thing, and it is that the crown will come for me sooner or later. And with it will come the grief and loneliness and shattering," he said, and I blinked silently.

"You know it, what will come with it. And I have never said that to anyone, but it frightens me. No matter how much I hate him, I can never even become the quarter of King he is. And, I cannot; I will not be able to stand alone there. I lack... courage," he said, and I immediately lifted my gaze to look into his eyes.

"I knew what I wanted to do but kept finding reasons to avoid it; I knew what I should have done but kept depending on others to begin. No matter how much I deny, I know where I lack, and..." he inhaled deeply. "And, I cannot help but feel that with you, I... feel better. With you, I forgot things, but now I understand a little bit why my father used to love spending time with my mother. Because when the responsibilities threaten, and the crown calls for action, even the Kings need the escape," he said and held my hand. I stay stunned, silent, tongue-tied.

"And, there is no better..." he gently pushed me down to sit on the bed and kneeled before me. I could feel my heart coming out of my chest at any moment. "There is no better escape than a Queen to a King—a wife to a man. You to me," he muttered, and I looked into his eyes. I could not understand, could not comprehend what he was saying. Did I understand it rightly?

"Be the other half of the balance," he said, and I shook my head. "I cannot," I breathed, and a lone tear rolled down my cheek. "I am weak," my voice broke. "I myself is the definition of dependency. I fear..." The lump in my throat killed my voice. "I fear to even speak of my own desires. I cannot stand up for someone else," I tried to say, but he lowered his gaze and held my foot.

My toes rolled, feeling his hand touching me. No one touched me there except for the water, sand, and sunlight. It felt different. His touch felt encouraging.

"Then let me lower myself to you, and we both will stand up together," he said, and I inhaled deeply.

"Yuvraj," I leaned in forward and touched his wrist.

"Abhi," he muttered slowly.

"I am... nothing," I tried to say, and he wrapped the anklet around my ankle and muttered.

"I have already made the mistake of thinking that once," his words made another tear come out of my eyes, and I closed my eyes.

He placed my foot on his knee, and I opened my eyes. I was shaking.

I saw him putting one end of the anklet into the hook of the other end. "The people will never like me acting what I am not, what I was not born for," I tried to say, and he gulped before leaning into my anklet. I immediately tried to pull my foot back, but his hold was firm enough that it made me shut my eyes.

I inhaled deeply when his breaths tickled against my ankle.

"Yuvraj," my voice came out shaky. This should not be done. His father would never like it, and no one would ever like it.

Suddenly, I could not help but bite my lip a little as he pressed his lips against my ankle, and I felt teeth tightening the hook.

It sent goosebumps into my body.

"No one knows what you are born for," he whispered, and I opened my eyes.

What did he mean?

He lifted his gaze to look into my eyes. Since I had leaned forward, clutching my fingers on his wrist, our faces were only inches apart. The curtains of my wet hair casting to the one side prevented the light from falling on his face, and he breathed. "I am sorry for hurting you,"

His words trembled my lips, making me feel weak. "Let me amend my mistakes," he took a slight pause. "Because only after seeing you cry, I realise that while hating on everyone I forgot... that I was making them hate me too,"

I could feel my breathing turning heavier. His eyes were dropping to my lips. The words were struck into my stomach. My mind had stopped thinking.

And, suddenly, he brought his face closer, and I shivered, moving back a little. My eyes widened, pulling my foot back from his knee.

He shifted closer, standing on his knees, almost meeting my sitting height and darting on my lips. This was the third time it had been the weakest one of all. My fingers fisted on the bed sheet, fighting for my life.

His breaths were uneven. I could see the fright in him. My lashes felt way too heavy to keep looking into his eyes. I could not comprehend what they held. They never looked like this. He never looked at me like this. And it was making me weak; it was making me feel vulnerable.

"Yuvr...," I could not even breathe. And my stomach twisted when he brought his lips even closer. His face angled a little sidewards, and I sat frozen. My mouth parted, and my breaths were audible. I would die any moment.

This was not what I thought about the consummation. I did not expect him to look into my eyes for that long. I did not expect him to stare at my lips like this. I thought... suddenly he leaned forward, and I fell back on the bed.

My eyes widened with the sudden movement. My heartbeats were audible. My chest was rising up and down, and he was breathing heavily, too. My toes rolled, barely touching the floor.

He inhaled sharply before he brought his lips closer. I immediately shut my eyes and turned my head to the side.

"Not here," I breathed, almost inaudible. "Not like this," I spoke out.

This was not what I thought. I just... thought... it would be night, he would not see me and... and he would not do this, not like this.

I could not stay alive after this, like this. It was beyond my capabilities. It was tough.

I heard him inhale deeply, and suddenly, he stood off me, and I placed my hand on my stomach. He scared me.

"I am... I am waiting for you outside," he spoke before he barged out of the tent. And, I lay frozen.

My fingers were shaking. There was goosebumps all over my body. I was this close to losing my heartbeats. I was about to die.

Oh My God!

I could not even move for a few moments. My mind could not shake off the memory of his lips this close and the way he laid over me. Our bodies were close.

"Bai-sa,"

Oh My God!

I could feel like sweating. How could he make me feel so lost for words?

"Bai-sa,"

He was a man. I immediately closed my eyes. I never thought that this would happen to him. I palmed my face.

"Bai-saa," suddenly Meenakshi's voice shivered me, and I looked at her immediately.

"Ye... yes," I sat up, seeing her standing in front of me. She knit her brows with confusion, watching me.

"What happened? Are you okay?" she asked, and I caressed my chest, soothing my heart. I nodded.

"Yes, it seems so," I muttered.

"Daadisa is asking for you. Everyone is waiting outside," she informed, and I nodded weakly.

"Okay," I muttered.

"I should help you get ready," she said, and I nodded.

"Come, you should sit here," she said, and I absentmindedly stood up and sat on a small stool.

I felt her fingers work as she combed my hair and braided it. Afterwards, she slipped the rings, the necklace, and all the jewellery I had came with.

Once she was done, I stood up and placed the dupatta on my head. I could not see him in the eyes. He saw me vulnerable. What would he think of me?

I was scared. But, of what?

"Shall we go?" Meenakshi asked, and I lifted my gaze to her and nodded.

"Yes," I said as I walked out of the tent. The attendees immediately began working to disorient it and pack it up.

"Trisha," Daadisa's voice caught my attention, and I walked towards her. He was around, and when I rolled my eyes, I saw him talking to someone.

Speaking of talking, I heard him talk the most today. This was the most he had ever spoken to me. It seemed like a different man after marriage. He refused to give me the dupatta back, and the way he came closer to me.

I never knew I could be scared of this boy.

I quickly moved my head off him and stepped towards Daadisa.

"What happened? You look... flushed?" she said, and I touched my cheeks.

"No, I am okay," I tried to say, and she asked with the knit brows.

"Is it too hot in here?"

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Chapter 32 ~ Anklets

Abhinandan POV

Marriage is said to be sweet, which lures people to taste it, and the one who has had enough of it warns others not to taste it. I never understood this.

But today, I got the idea of what it meant.

The moment I stepped out of the tent, the sunlight invaded the walls of my eyes. It left me with a disoriented feeling. The eyes of the attendees engaged in their works met mine momentarily, wondering but bothered their Prince that his face looked flushed, shocked, and vulnerable.

But even the Prince could not tell what bothered him at this moment.

What was happening to me?

I immediately palmed my face, unable to believe that in a matter of a week, I was attracted, instead persuaded by her lips, thrice. Three fucking times. I was keen to touch them with mine.

Oh, My fucking goodness! She looked beautiful.

Was she always this beautiful? All the while?

The way her hair spread like the web of comforters, woven into each other, still as separated as the branches of the tree, was eye-holding. I just could not take my eyes off. And, once I was under their shadows when she leant forward, everything disappeared.

Her doe eyes were even bigger at that moment. The way her brows were slightly curled in between and soft at the end was inviting.

Inviting for what?

And, her cheeks.

Oh my goodness, I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes. She looked mesmerising after taking the bath. She had never looked this beautiful. The colour did the magic on her. The yellow was perfect; it complemented her almond tone. It made me notice her cheeks and the mole under her lips.

It would be the death of me, and I could sense it was near.

Was I this person the whole time?

How could I behave so mannerless, so undignified, so out of control?

One moment, I was telling her how much I hated her, and another moment, I was on my knees, waiting for her to look at me the way I was looking at her.

Because I needed her.

I was fucking married to her.

And this trek to the temple made me realise that in no world could we be separated now. The conditions we placed each other before the wedding were utterly foolish. She was mine, and I was hers.

She was my wife now.

We were now like the two corners of the river, meant to flow together and stay together, but I could not shake off the feeling that they would never meet.

The mere thought burnt something in me.

They would never meet because they are bound by the conditions and rules. If we followed the rules and conditions, too, we would always stay together but never meet each other.

And this was not what I wanted when I intended to marry her. I wanted her to be by my side, to be around me, because she gave me peace, a sense of purpose, and a responsibility.

But the condition of the child and our separation thereafter would never give me a sense of peace, purpose, or responsibility.

Rather, it would leave me even more broken.

It was the reason that made me lower myself before her. If I were to be a King, she would be my Queen. And a Queen could never be just a womb to the heir; she is the Kingdom, its breath and perseverance.

I did not know what kind of blundering things I spoke in front of her. It was like I just wanted to do or say whatever would make her allow me to be near her.

This was getting out of hand. This feeling, this emotion, it was too much.

And how the hell could I accuse her of seducing me?

Because, now, she was seducing me. She was doing nothing at that time.

She was making me go insane.

Seeing her without her dupatta, eating, sleeping beside me, and smelling her in my arms was making me go insane. I never knew that a woman could do this to a man.

And I was feeling things I had never imagined. It was making my thoughts go wild.

I knew what it took to bring a child into my life, but I never felt fond of doing it. It was not what I dreamed of. And the way she lost herself before me made it even more difficult.

I literally could not breathe in front of her. It took a mere moment to rise to my knees and lean forward to have her under me.

But it required worldly courage to look into her eyes when her lips trembled. It was like she was feeling things and making me feel things.

How would I turn into a man if she would behave like this? How would I be near her if it would be this difficult even to touch her lips?

I was already the least confident man among the men, and her presence was doing nothing but harm to it.

It was like everything shifted upside down in only a few days.

"Yuvraj,"

An attendee's voice brought me out of my thoughts, and I looked at him.

"We have finished the convoy set up. Would you want to take a look?" he asked, and I gulped before nodding slowly.

It was better to focus on the things that were in my hand rather than on the things that were not.

She was not in my hand. She never was, and she never would be.

The only way to be near to her was to keep myself lower to her so that she would let me slip into her.

"Yes, let's go," I said, and he nodded.

I walked with her and looked after the convoy. I asked if he had counted the men and put everything into the carriages. And, the horses and pullers were well fed.

"Yes, everything is done," he said, and I nodded.

"Where is your anklet?" suddenly, Daadisa's voice caught my attention. I turned around to find her with Daadisa, and the moment I noticed both of them looking at her feet, I realised that I was holding something in my hand.

Oh, shit!

Her other anklet.

I forgot to tie it to her other ankle.

The moment I realised that the attendee was watching me holding the anklet, I immediately fisted it in my hand and hid it in the folds of my clothes.

I cleared my throat, and suddenly, Daadisa called me.

"Abhinandan,"

I inhaled a deep breath, not wanting to look into her eyes after what I had said and what I was about to do.

"Abhi, come here," she called again, and I tried to plant a slight smile on my face before I turned around to look at them.

She looked into my eyes for a moment but then immediately lowered her gaze.

"Ji, Daadisa," I asked, walking closer to her, and she said.

"Trisha lost her one anklet. Could you search for it?" she asked. I immediately looked at Trisha. She also looked at me for a moment and then at her.

"Daadisa, there is no need. It must be somewhere in the boxes. I am sure," she tried to say, and Daadisa showed her eyes.

"If one is in your foot, how can the other be somewhere around?" she asked, turning back a little.

"See, the attendees removed the tent, too. It is not like we have a cut on anklets, but it's not good to take the newlywed bride home without properly dressed," she said, and I noticed Trisha only blinking nervously and nodding.

"Ji, Ji, Daadisa, I will... look around," she said, looking at me for a moment. I immediately looked away. She knew I had that anklet, but I could not speak of it before Daadisa. She would make fun of me, and I did not want it.

"Daadisa, its just an anklet. And we are getting late," I said. Daadisa immediately glared at me, and I lowered my gaze.

"Alright, you should sit into your palanquin, and Trisha and I are searching," I said. She nodded, but suddenly, her brows thinned into a line.

"Wait a moment," she said, my eyes sharpened with confusion.

"What is it?" Daadisa asked, and I followed her gaze and hand as she noticed the anklet's hook hanging out of my waist cloth and pulled it out.

"Ohhhh," I immediately looked away. "Umm, I think it stuck in it," I tried to say, and she slapped my bicep.

"Why are you stealing your wife's anklet? Is not it bad?" she asked and I immediately lowered my gaze with the embarassment.

"I am so sorry," I did not have anything else to say. I noticed Trisha looking at me, trying not to laugh.

"Um, it's just I wanted to tease her," I tried to say, obviously making up the story, and she slapped my bicep again.

"She is tired, and you are teasing her. You are such a bad-mannerly guy," she said, making me clench my jaw. I nodded and looked at Trisha, smiling a little.

"Come on, help her wear it," she said, handed it to me, and walked away a little.

"Enjoying it? Hn," I asked, and she palmed her mouth to hide her smile.

"I am sorry," she said, taking the anklet from my hand. "I will do it. We should better leave,"

I simply nodded and looked around to notice that the people were watching us.

"Trisha," I immediately turned and called her.

She turned around to look at me.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you okay?" I asked, and she stared blankly at me. "I mean, whatever happened in the tent and... I am sorry. I know it made you feel uncomfortable. But... I promise I am not like that... I mean,"

"Yes, I know who you actually are," she cut me off, and I knit my brows.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, and she began to walk towards the palanquin. "I am talking to you," I exclaimed, following her and she shook her head.

"Nothing. I just said I know you," she said, stopping near her palanquin.

I immediately stopped because Daadisa was sitting inside it, and I did not want to embarrass myself.

We could save the rest of the conversation for later.

I ordered the whole convoy to be ready to move. I climbed on my horse, and we began our journey back to Mahabaleshgarh.

It was dark by the time we reached there. We were welcomed by my mother and Nandani, who was still there. I stepped down my horse and walked towards the palanquin. Trisha stepped out before Daadisa, and the moment Daadisa called me, "Abhi, you did not tie the anklet," I ran from there.

It was enough for today.

I waited at the entrance for Trisha and Daadisa to arrive and silently prayed that she would not bring it to my mother and sister.

"Pranam Maasa," I heard Trisha wishing my mother, and when she bent down to touch her feet, I joined her.

"May God bless you with all my happiness," she said, and I stood up straight. She looked tired, and I noticed Nandani smiling weakly at us.

"Welcome back," she said, and we both walked towards each other to hug loosely.

"Is everything good?" I asked, and she nodded before walking closer to Trisha. She bent down to touch Nandani's feet, but she immediately stopped and brought her to hug her.

"We intend to be sisters," Nandani said, and Trisha smiled weakly.

"Nandani," Daadisa called her out, and she went to hug her. "Rudra did not come?" she asked, and Nandani shook her head.

"That's okay. Stay here until he comes to take you with him," Daadisa said, and I lifted my brows.

"Do not worry, Nandani. You can spend the rest of your life here. No one will bother you," I said, and everyone glared at me.

"What?" I asked, and suddenly, Daadisa chose to speak.

"You should stay shut. Do you know Abhishree that he stole her anklet," she said, and I sighed deeply.

"Daadisa, I did not steal it. It was a mistake," I tried to clarify, and Maasa glared.

"I told you not to tease Trisha. Did I not?" she said with slight anger. I did not know why everyone tried to keep Trisha away from me. How would we two have a baby together? I would not even tease her.

"Trisha, did he do something?" Maasa immediately turned to her, and I noticed Nandani trying to hide her smile.

Only this was left. Getting teased in front of my family.

Trisha did not say anything and looked at me.

"Do not be scared. Tell me," Maasa asked, and I could not believe it.

"Forget it. I am going in," I said, leaving them alone at the door. I went in to meet my father. No matter what he said or did, I could not leave him alone.

"Baapusa," I called him out once I stepped into the Chandra Mahal.

"Abhi," he replied, and I noticed him walking a little in his chamber. The attendees were helping him.

"How are you?" I asked, bending down to touch his feet. He placed his hand on my head and nodded.

"Doing better with the hope," his words felt like a weight. This reminds me that I had one duty to fulfil as soon as possible.

"How was your journey?" he asked, and I nodded, taking a seat beside him once he sat on the couch.

"It was good," I said, and I could not help but forget what had happened between Trisha and me.

"How is Trisha?" he asked further, and I nodded.

"She is good too, but still angry with me," I said, and he nodded. "As she should be," he added, and I smiled weakly.

"Thank you for accepting her," I could not stop myself from saying, and he placed his hand on mine and looked at me. "A father would never doubt a girl like Trisha for his son. But, the King will always be considered," he said, and I shook my head.

"Do not worry. She will give birth to the great son," I tried to say, and he nodded.

"I do not doubt that. But the Kingdoms are for the people, and so are the royals. Rudra was always an eligible Prince to sit on the throne, but still, people did not want him to. Because, according to them, he was not the rightful child," he said, and I lowered my gaze.

"Mahabaleshgarh does not have any Surgami Dev Singh," I said, and he smiled. Suddenly, I heard the ladies entering.

My sight fell on Trisha lowering her dupatta slightly down on her forehead once she stepped closer. I noticed her stumble a little while bending down to touch my father's feet.

"God Bless You. I hope he did not worry you much," he said and I immediately lowered my gaze.

"He stole her anklet," Daadisa immediately said, taking the seat with the tiredness and I could not help but notice Trisha blushing.

Meanwhile Baapusa laughed and I shook my head. "I did not steal," I tried to say.

"Then what were you doing?" Daadisa asked and I glared at her. "What would you do with her anklet? I scolded Trisha because of you," she said and Trisha silently moved aside to stand beside my mother and my Baapusa laughed even louder.

"Maa-Saheb, leave the children alone," Baapusa finally interrupted and Daadisa rolled her eyes at me.

I could not believe she was taking Trisha's side more than mine.

"Leave all this. Its dark now. Everyone should rest," Maasa said and looked at me. "Abhinan, your dinner is in Trisha's chamber," the moment she said I lowered my gaze.

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Chapter 33 ~ Nightgown

Trishalini POV

"Let's go," I heard Queen Nandani's voice, and I immediately took a few steps back before turning around and walking out of the King's chamber.

A deep sigh left me.

She chuckled. "What happened? Are you okay?" she asked, her concern palpable. I looked at her and shook my head.

"I feel nervous around everyone," I could not stop myself from saying, and she nodded.

"I can understand," Queen Nandani reassured me, her understanding shining through. I noticed a group of ladies following us to my chamber.

"It feels like I am never alone," I confessed, the weight of constant scrutiny evident in my voice. Queen Nandani nodded, her smile a comforting presence.

"Since you are going to be the next Queen, people will always be around you," she said. We both stepped into my chamber and found it already lit and decorated. I looked at her with questioning eyes.

She smiled weakly and looked away for a moment. "Well, today is your actual wedding night. Since now the Kul Devi's pooja is done,"

Her words raced my heartbeats, and I stared blankly at her. "Abhinan cannot leave you alone tonight. He will have to stay here," she said, clapping twice to catch the attendees' attention.

"You all leave now," she ordered, and I noticed everyone leaving their pending work and walking out.

"But why? His chamber is across mine; it is not too far," I tried to say, understanding it, but she held my hand and took me to the changing area. It was well, too. And said. "If you two sleep in the separated chambers, the rumours will spread that there is something wrong between you two,"

I scoffed. "This is... difficult. I am already feeling tired," I said, and she chuckled. She helped me sit on the chair in front of the mirror and looked at me.

"You will manage it," she said, and I nodded weakly, staring at her.

"Was it difficult for you too to settle in your new home?" I asked in a slow voice, and she lowered her gaze for a moment and shook her head.

"Rudra does not make it feel difficult for me. And Ranvijay and Agastya Deversa are always there to help," she said, and I smiled.

"You are lucky," I stated, and she shook her head.

"Only if people are able to stop sticking to one thing," she said, and I lowered my gaze for a moment.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, and she sat on the dressing table before me and nodded.

"Anything," she smiled.

I inhaled deeply and looked at our hands, comforting each other, our thumbs caressing each other. "How did you get through your first night? I mean, when you two were together?" I asked, my voice almost fumbling, and she just smiled.

"Nothing happened for the many nights. When it happened, it felt natural, like it was meant to happen," she said, and I bit my lips.

"What if it would not feel natural, or it was not meant to happen? And still, happen," I asked, and she knit her brows with confusion and asked.

"What do you mean?"

I lowered my gaze and shook my head slowly. "Yuvraj and I," I inhaled deeply. "We are expected to bring the... child soon. You know... because the King intends to see his grandchild. And your mother suggested that I should not let it happen until I want to. But I feel like I would never want to. I do not know what I feel. It seems like the wrong thing to do. I cannot help but remember his sixteen-year-old self when I looked at him. It just does not feel right," I tried to say, and she firmly held my hand and muttered.

"You are older than me, so I assume you will know better than I do. When the time comes, it will feel right," she said, and I shook my head.

"I know nothing," I lifted my gaze, and she looked into my eyes with sympathy. Well, I know what happens, but even thinking about it makes me nervous and vulnerable," I said and looked away. And I feel your brother also feels the same. Everything seems forced between us—rules, conditions, motives," I said, and she shook her head.

"Bhabhisa," she called me, and I looked into her eyes.

"No words can give you the direction. No one can feel even an ounce of what you feel. And no one can ever understand what it is between you two. But, all I know about marriage is that two can play the royals in the day and the husband and wife at night. It's as simple as that for Rudra and me," she said and smiled. "But, I will suggest that before becoming husband and wife, you two become the friends, the lovers and then a couple,"

Her words made me gulp nervously.

"Love?" I breathed it. "There is no such thing as love. Our marriage is merely a condition and duties and responsibilities," I said, and she replied.

"That's why you two need a stronger bond to stick by each other," her words felt hollow to me. I could not understand what she was saying. It was like love would never be possible between us. It was not what he and I sought.

"By the way, it's getting late. You should change," she suggested, stepping down from the table and looking around.

"I brought you a few pairs of nightgowns to make you comfortable. I know the pain of sleeping in these heavy things. Also, a few more things to make you feel better," she said, and I smiled.

"Thank you so much. You are so lovely," I could not help admitting that and held her hand before she could walk away. "And I am sorry for the way I talked to you earlier," I said, and she shook her head with slightly tearful eyes.

I did not know, but I could feel that something was bothering her. So, I stepped closer, and she immediately hugged me tightly.

"I know whatever he did to you was because of me. He hurt you because of me, and I am so sorry. I am a terrible sister," she broke into cries, and I immediately hugged her tightly.

"No, whatever he did was because he wanted to do it. It's only who should be responsible for it," I tried to say, and she shook her head.

"Still, it was better if I married someone I did not know and died. At least a few were at peace," she said in a breaking voice, and I closed my eyes, caressing her back.

"I am sorry, but I also thought you made a terrible decision by standing up for what you wanted. I also judged you. But, after knowing that your own family, your father, and your people could get bitter when you start thinking about you, I understood you," I said, and she inhaled deeply.

"I am sorry I am making you cry because of me," she said, pulling back and I smiled weakly, shaking my head.

"I have found a sister in you," I said with slight nervousness, not knowing if she would like it. But she smiled with a soft chuckle. "Of course," she muttered. Now, it will be more fun to come to my maternal home," she said, and I chuckled.

"Dresses," she said and looked away, washing her tears. "You should change," she suggested, and I nodded.

"Well, I am sure Abhinandan is not going to help you with that anytime soon," she said, and I could not help but laugh.

She laughed, too. "I know him. He is the most unromantic person," she said, walking away and brought a wooden box and kept it on the table. "I ordered a few soldiers and attendees to bring it from Suryagarh at early notice,"

"And he is so childish," I said, and she laughed even more.

"Yes, he is stubborn. He does not say it but keeps facing or showing his discontent until he gets a particular thing," she said, and I nodded with a small laugh.

"I know that," I admitted it.

"But, Bhabhisa," suddenly, she stopped and looked at me. "He is genuine in his heart," she said, and my smile shrank. "He hates making conversations. He would choose to spend his time alone rather than speak of what is bothering him. He just walks away," she said, and I nodded slightly.

"And nothing makes things worse than walking away. It brings distance, confusion, and assumptions. And these are the dangerous things in marriage," she said, and I smiled weakly and nodded.

What could I say to him? I was exactly like this.

And, no doubt, we both were together but miles apart from each other.

"I understand," I said, and she placed her hand on my shoulder and made me look into the mirror.

"Uff, you are so beautiful," she said, and I chuckled.

"Nothing in front of you. You glow like diamonds," I could not help but say, and she smiled weakly.

"Every stone has the capability of becoming a diamond, Bhabhisa. Its just the matter of time and efforts and you will never know will stone will sparkle the most," she said and I just stared at her face through the mirror.

She was so much more mature for her age. Or it was the circumstances that did it to her.

And the way her words gave me hope that I could be a diamond, too, was commendable.

"And, I am sure you will make the finest Queen. Definitely a jewel to the Mahabaleshgarh's crown," she said, and I chuckled.

"This is not possible," I said, and she knitted her brows, untucking my dupatta and keeping it aside.

"Why?" she asked, and I lowered my gaze, feeling her unbraiding my hair.

"I do not know. I just feel like I do not know the Kingdom, its customs and I will end up hurting people," I said and she chuckled.

"There are no customs or things that are hard to learn—just a few rules. Always dress up like a Princess, showing off your power and values through your jewellery, dresses and especially your eyes when you meet any outsider, like someone not from the family. Respect is what will bring you the respect of others. And, about the people. I bet no one understands them better than you. Because you had been one among them, and this is nothing but a chance to bring the problems of the commoners to the crown so that Mahabaleshgarh will outshine and do much better things. You know women, you know survival, you know life down there, so for me, you are the perfect one to sit on the crown. And, you will help my brother to be better, too," she said, and I immediately lowered my gaze.

"But I do not know what to do," I said. Once she opened my braid, I turned around to look at her, and she smiled, holding my hand.

"Bhabhisa, just be yourself in the attire of the Queen. And everything will be fine. Do not try to change yourself for anyone, not even for my brother. If your heart wants to help someone, help someone; if your heart does not desire to not do a particular, do not do it. Royals are people, too. They do everything commoners do; they just have the power to decide between right and wrong. And now, you, too, have the power to decide between right and wrong. And the power to choose, too. So, be the person you already are and just decide," she said, and I nodded. I did not know, but her words were making me feel good. Suppose it was like she actually wanted to help me. She did not expect me to do something but told me what to do.

"And, what about managing the Kingdom? I have heard that the Queen does that?" I asked, and she smiled, nodding.

"Managing a Kingdom is like managing a home, too. You worry about the bread, but it's not for the four people but four thousand. You worry for the guests, but they are not commoners; they are other royals, and you cannot afford to displease them. You worry for the family, and you know how to keep a family happy already. It's just your home, but bigger now, and your responsibilities are bigger, too," she said, and I smiled widely.

"I think I should sit with you for at least a week to learn about the family," I said, and she chuckled.

"I am afraid, but I am leaving tomorrow," she said, and I immediately looked up at her.

"But why?" I asked, and she smiled.

"Prince Ranvijay's wedding is near, and..." she lowered her gaze. I do not feel like this home is the same as before for me. The constant glares of the attendees, the way people see me like a culprit, are weakening," she looked up at me. "This is your home now. I will only be a guest," she said with a smile, and I shook my head.

"But," I tried to say, and she caressed my hand.

"That's okay. Everything will be fine," she said, and I nodded.

Suddenly, she inhaled deeply and turned around. "Dress!" she said and shook her head. "I keep slipping away from the topic," she said, and I smiled weakly.

I noticed her taking out a beautiful white cloth or dress.

"What is this?" I asked, and she smiled, looking at me.

"This is something that is worn at night at my cousin Ruhani's home. It is comfortable, thin, and... seductive," she said. And Rudra likes tearing it, too," she said, and I chuckled a little.

"What?" I asked, and she laughed.

"Just joking," she muttered, and I looked away momentarily.

"I bet your brother will not like it," I tried to say, and she looked at me. Who said that you are going to wear it to make him like it? You are going to wear it to be comfortable," she said, and I touched the end of it.

"It's soft," I muttered.

"Yes," she nodded. "Go on, change," she said, and my eyes widened.

"Now?" I asked, and she nodded, taking me to the wooden space behind which I had to change.

"Yes, now, I want to see how it looks on you," she said, and I nodded.

I went behind that changing area and nervously stripped my Lehnga and blouse open. Standing naked in such a wide and large place was uncomfortable.

But I shook that feeling away and concentrated on the task I had. There were two things. One was something that was ending on my thighs. It was cut sleeves, translucent, thin cotton, and I felt almost naked in it. And the other thing was an overcoat, which had full sleeves, longer till my feet and covered all of me. There were six knots. Three were inside, on the sides, and three on the front. The first one was slightly below my breast, the other one was on my stomach, and the third one was below my lower abdomen. The frill in the overcoat was similar to the Lehnga; no one could see my legs, as Queen Nandani said; it was terribly comfortable, light and soft.

But still wearing different things made me uncomfortable.

"Are you done?" she asked from the other side. I inhaled deeply before walking out, and her eyes widened with shock.

"Aww, you look so beautiful. He is going to get insane," she said, and I chuckled timidly.

"Well, while sleeping, you can take the overcoat off, and if you are in the chamber at night and just with Abhinan, you can wear it," she said, and I nodded.

"This is comfortable," I stated, and she smiled.

"Alright, your dinner is outside, and you should be at ease. I must go," she said, and I nodded.

We both walked out of the dressing room, and I found the attendees setting up the plates. Seeing them doing all these things at midnight made me uncomfortable.

"Umm, you can rest. I will do it myself," I could not stop myself from saying, and they all left.

The moment they left, I heard the door open, and my sight fell on him walking in, with his eyes down and fingers running in his hair.

"Brother," Queen Nandani said, and he lifted his gaze.

"Oh, you are here," he said, looking at us. But the moment he looked at me, his eyes just stopped moving, and it made me feel nervous in a matter of moments.

"Umm, I should leave you two alone. Good night," Queen Nandani said, and I immediately lowered my gaze, gulping nervously. He also looked away and then at her.

"Good night. I hope the monkey is jumping into your chamber tonight," he said. She glared at him and shook her head.

"No, he can walk through the doors," she said, and I could sense the teasing between these two.

"I just hate him," he said, and she slapped on his bicep.

"He is not your husband, so chill," she said, walking out the door. The soldiers standing outside closed the door, and he looked up at me.

"So?" he asked.

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Chapter 34 ~ One Comforter

Abhinandan POV

"So?" I managed to breathe, my eyes fixed on her standing a few metres away. Her hands were tied over her stomach, and she briefly glanced towards the couch.

"Food," she muttered, and I nodded, trying to look away from her.

She looked beautiful in white. Her dress was different—something I had seen on Nandani before. I just could not take my eyes off her, making me nervous.

"Yes, food," I muttered, and we both silently walked towards the couch. I could feel my heartbeats turning uneven yet again.

The silence of the midnight and being alone with her was different.

"Take the seat," I said, almost fumbling once we reached closer to the couch. I looked over the table. There were small bowls covered with lids, one plate, two glasses, three jars, and a small basket of fruits.

"Okay," she breathed, pushing the loose strand of her open hair behind her ear.

She sat on the left side, and I turned to take the right one. Our arms touched, and I shifted more to reach the plate closer.

"I am hungry," I managed to say, and she nodded.

"Yes, me too," her voice seemed nervous.

"Um, my plate?" she stared at the table momentarily and then lifted her eyes to me. I gulped and sucked on my plate.

"Only one plate," I said, and she nodded nervously.

"Ohh," she exhaled and immediately lowered her gaze to the table.

"Okay," she added, and I noticed her leaning forward to serve the food on the plate.

"You can eat first. I can eat later," she said, and I could not stop holding her hand. Her bangles tickled, and she quickly looked up at me.

"Umm, let me serve," I suggested, and she slowly pulled her hand back, nodding.

"Okay," she muttered softly. I could sense her timidness.

"And we can eat together," I suggested further, and she looked up at me again.

"Umm, together?" she asked in a slow, almost inaudible voice, and I nodded. "Yes," I said.

"But," her breath hitched. "But, I have not eaten with anyone before," she said, and I looked at her.

I could not help but steal glances at her. She was glowing under the dim candlelight, and her eyes sparkled a little differently. She looked attractive.

"Neither did I," I managed to say and immediately closed my eyes for a moment. "I mean, not like this, with a girl, I mean... with my wife. Obviously, I had never been with a girl before," I muttered all the wrong things, and she just stayed silent, keeping her gaze low.

"Food," I cleared my throat. "We should eat," I said. I leaned forward to open the lids and found mixed vegetables, Kadhi, Gatte, Sarso ka saag, and Kheer. There was milk in one jar, water in another, and juice in the third. Along with that, there was a small bowl with chilli and lemon pickle, along with the jaggery.

As soon as I transferred a little bit of everything to the big plate with six bowls, which were still empty, the aroma of the food spread.

"What do you like to eat?" I asked, looking at her for a moment, and she stared at me confusedly.

"Anything," she muttered, and I smiled a little. "Anything?" I questioned, and she nodded.

"Yes, I pretty much everything," she said, and I nodded.

"So, no favourites?" I asked, and she nodded her head.

"Pitaji said that one must forget the tastes to be a saint," she said, and I nodded.

"Sorry, your plan failed," I said, and she looked up at me.

"And it's all because of you," she said, and I knit my brows.

"Why me? I did not tell your father to find Shantanu for you," I said, placing the chapatis on the plate, and she shook her head.

"You did not say anything, but he did it because you indirectly made him do it," she said, and I immediately looked at her with disbelief.

"But, I did not do anything. I mean, yes, I married you, but it was not my plan to find a husband for you," I said again, tearing a bite.

And, she chuckled. "You made him feel insecure. He thought that you were... seducing his daughter, so he hurried up," she said, and my eyes widened with shock.

"What??" I asked and took a bite. "Come on, eat. Food is good," I said, and she leaned forward to the plate. But I noticed her struggling with her sleeves as they touched against the food.

"Wait," I said, tore another bite, dipped it into the Kadhi, and forwarded my hand towards her mouth. She looked at me with confused eyes and then took the bite from my hand and ate.

"Thank you," she muttered, and I lowered my gaze. I made her uncomfortable.

"So, your father changed your mind because he was insecure about our friendship?" I asked, and she hummed, chewing on it.

"It's tasty," she said, and I smiled.

"It's made by Nandani. I know how she cooks," I said, and she smiled.

"Your sister is so mature," she said in a slow voice and began to roll her sleeves. I noticed her hands were full of bangles, and the red ink on her finger and in the middle of her hand looked beautiful.

"That's okay. You should not ruin your hands; I will help you eat," I said, and she shook her head slowly.

"It's okay. I am not fond of these things," she said, and I did not know why, but my chest ached.

"Why?" I could not stop myself from asking, but she lifted her gaze to me.

"Because only I did it, and you do not," she said, and I knit my brows.

"What?" I asked.

"Yes, you married me but did not do any Haldi or Mehndi. It was only me who suffered for the whole week," she said, and I gulped silently and looked away from the food.

"Do men do that too?" I asked, and she nodded. "Of course, go and watch Shantanu's hands," she said, and I immediately felt a burn in my chest.

"Stop taking his name in front of me," I said, and she knitted her brows and questioned, "Why?"

And I inhaled deeply. "Because a husband does not like her wife to take anyone else's name," I said, tearing another bite. She also pushed her hand to the plate and shook her head.

"But why? It is not like you have feelings for me. How does it bother you? And, you can worry not because I will be loyal, and you know that," she said, and I dipped the torn chapati into Saag and forwarded my hand to her.

She looked at me momentarily and then opened her mouth for me. "Still, I will never like you talking about any other man except me," I clarified, and she lowered her gaze, nodding slowly.

"I also do not talk about any other girl. Do I?" I asked, and she lifted her gaze to me and shook her head. "Because you are stubborn. You could marry the wealthiest, most beautiful and powerful Princess, but you only paid attention to avenging me," she said, and I tore another bite.
Meanwhile, she leaned forward and picked up a chilli pickle and a chapati. She placed it in her left hand and the pickle over it. I felt slightly disgusted.

"You eat like this?" I asked, and she looked at me for a moment and nodded.

"Yes, and there is one more way to enhance the taste of food," she said, and I knit my brows.

"We do not pick up things from the plate. We only eat like this," I said, and she gulped nervously and asked. "Can I eat like this only?"

I stared at her blankly for a moment and then nodded. "Of course," I breathed, " but only when you are alone or with me," I added.

She smiled weakly and leaned forward to take Kadhi's bowl. She began tearing the chapati into many pieces, and the moment she dipped her fingers into it, my eyes widened with shock.

"Trisha, what are you doing?" I asked, wondering if her hands would burn.

"I wanted to eat like this," she said, making small portions from whatever she had prepared and then forwarded her hand to me.

"This way, you can eat more vegetables and curries than chapatis," she said, and I opened my mouth for her. Her fingers brushed against my lips and tongue, and I could not help but suck a little. "I noticed you are eating more of the chapatis than vegetables," she said, and I noticed.

The spices and the taste melted into my mouth, and I nodded. "It's delicious," I could not help saying, but it did not feel good initially. I could not taste the wheat.

She made another portion and had it. "Umm, your sister cooks so well," she said, and the way a few drops of yellow Kadhi brushed against her lips before she licked, I felt dry at my throat.

"She does," I said, and she nodded, making another one for me. I hope you do not mind eating my half-eaten food," she said, and I leaned closer to take that bite from her hand. "Of course not," I muttered.

"It's getting yummier with bites," I said, and she smiled widely.

"Do you want to try something different?" she asked, and I nodded.

I saw her licking her fingers clean and placing the bowl on the table before picking up the mixed vegetables and taking out a little bit on the plate.

"What are you doing?" I asked, getting hungrier moment by moment.

"Shhh," she hushed me down, and I looked at her, taking that mix of kadhi and chapati over mixed vegetables and mixing them a little.

I felt ugly in my throat.

"Now, taste this. This is delicious," she said, and the moment she turned to look at me, I planted a slight smile on my face.

"Yes," I said and looked at her holding the bite for me.

I leaned in closer and had it. The carrots, beans, and cauliflower melted into my mouth, and the slightly sour kadhi tasted awful. I nodded, chewing them.

"Umm, delicious," I said, and she smiled.

"I said it," she said and ate it too.

"Ummm, it keeps getting better. And, with chilli pickle, it will be even more delicious." She ate a whole chilli with it, and I just kept staring at her. She looked even more beautiful while eating—her fingers half into the food, her hair open, spreading all across her back, and the way her bangles were tickling.

And suddenly, she lifted her feet and crossed her legs on the couch, and I chuckled a little.

"Your father is not that bad," she spoke suddenly, and I lifted my brow.

"Oh really?" I asked, taking the bowl mix of chapati and Kadhi and ruining my fingers, too.

"Hmmm, he is just ill, and I feel that he is scared of the future because he feels that..." She stopped eating. "He feels that he will not be with us," she finished, and I inhaled deeply, nodding.

"Make sense," I said, chewing, and she looked at me.

"Can you do something for me?" I asked, and I looked at her, nodding.

"Do not be harsh with him. Let him be happy. It will help him heal, and seeing everyone supporting him, he will start feeling better," she said in a slow voice, and I just nodded silently.

"I am not angry, but it cannot go like before, only in a few days," I tried to say, and she lowered her gaze and nodded.

"Also, I am doing everything I can to make him happy," I added, and she lifted her gaze and thinned her sight.

"Yes, and it began by marrying me," she teased me, and I just smiled.

"Well, I asked you to marry me even before I got to know about his death. So,"

"So, you only wanted to hurt me," she cut me off, and I looked at her and nodded calculatingly.

"Kind of," I muttered.

"Kind of?" she asked with a soft chuckle.

"Alright. I did," I accepted, and she nodded.

"Glad you accepted it," she said, and I looked into her eyes.

"But you only needed the reason to say 'yes'. If you had just said' yes, ' I would have done everything from talking to my own parents to your father and taking every responsibility," I said, and she immediately asked.

"But why? Why were you so desperate to marry me? You did not want to marry after what happened in the past few months. You hated marriage, and all of a sudden, you wanted to marry. All out of the blue," she asked, and I lowered my gaze, sucking on my lips.

"I do not know," I said. "I just did not want to lose you," I added, and she sighed deeply.

"You would not have lost me. I would be near you as Shantanu's wife and your friend," she said, and I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes.

"And, what if he had touched you on your wedding night? What if he wished to do things you would not like?" I asked, and she turned silent and lowered her gaze.

"Things I would not like?" she asked, and I looked away.

"You tell me, did you love Shantanu?" I asked, immediately turning to look at her, and she shook her head.

"No, it would have at least made my father feel good," she said, and I shook my head.

"Your father only thought about himself," I said, and she immediately looked at me.

"Everyone only thinks about themselves. Did you not?" Her words made me sigh deeply, and I lowered my gaze.

After a few moments of silence, I said, "Trisha, we will end up fighting again," and she nodded.

"Yes, we should stop," she muttered, inhaling deeply. "This will not end. We will keep circling the same things," she added, and I nodded.

We both looked at each other and nodded.

"Food," I said, and she nodded.

"Food," she replied.

And, we both turned our sights to it. And we continued eating in silence.

We both were hungry and finished everything before she suddenly said, "The sweet dish is remaining," taking off the lid of its bowl.

"I am full," I said, shaking my head. She poured it into a bowl and said,

"You should at least taste it," she said, bringing a spoonful near my mouth. I stared into her eyes and leaned into her to have it.

"It's good," I said, and suddenly she shivered when it thundered.

"Oh My God!" she placed the bowl down, and I smiled.

"I think it's going to rain," I said, and she nodded.

"Rain," she muttered softly, and I could not help but remember the night I went to meet her.

"There is milk, too," she said, and I stood up from the couch.

"Maybe later," I said, walking to the washing bowl to wash my hands. I noticed she had a few spoons of Kheer.

"Shall I keep it near the bed?" she asked, and I hummed.

"Umm-hmmm," she had a few spoons of it and walked towards me to wash her hands, too.

I saw her gently rubbing her Mahavar-inked hands together. They looked beautiful.

"Um, I will have to sleep here tonight," I said slowly, and she nodded without lifting her gaze.

"I hope you do not mind sharing the bed," I said, and she shook her head.

"You did not mind sharing your Kingdom; why would I mind sharing your bed?" she said, and I noticed her falling forward, almost dipping into the vessel. She struggled to push them back. I could not stop myself from walking closer and gently pushing the strand away.

She had wavy and curly hair. And the way they were reaching beyond her hips was maddening.

For a moment, it ached to touch them, from her ear to the end.

"You should lay down. I am bringing the milk," she said, stepping away a little, and I nodded.

"Which side do you want to sleep on?" I asked, gulping nervously, and she shook her head.

"I do not know. I know nothing about the bedsides," she said, and I nodded.

"So, we can figure it out. Though I sleep in the absolute middle, you know," I tried to say, and she nodded.

"Yes," she spoke softly. "You are big," she added, and I felt even more nervous.

"Curtains drawn covered or not?" I asked further while she walked towards the table to pour a glass of milk for me.

"I do not know that either," she said slowly, and I nodded.

"Um, do you like sleeping in dark or dim lighting?" I asked, and she turned around and looked around.

The chamber was mediocrely lit and she gulped before saying. "Darkness is good,"

I nodded and walked towards the bed before killing a few light lamps.

It turned dim and thundered again. The flashes of lightning lit the chamber through the windows, and I could notice that she was feeling nervous. Same as me.

I parted the curtains covering the bed and heard her light footsteps approaching closer.

She walked past me silently and kept the milk on the table to the left side. She stared at the bed for a moment. There were no rose petals today. And, suddenly, she lifted her gaze.

"Only one comforter," she said, and I noticed it too.

"Umm, should I call for another? It must be around in some trunk," I said, and she looked at me for a moment and shook her head.

"We will... manage," she said and lowered her gaze.

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