Rudraja POV

Bapusa was gone, and I lay in my bed like a fish without the water. I didn't know what to do. My life had become a spiral, or maybe I had made my life this spiral.

A part of me felt comfortable with Agni, but the other couldn't let go of the memories of the man I'd imagined, a flicker of my possible future.

Needless to say that the time was coming when an answer was needed from my side. Days kept passing, and my irritation towards my hair kept increasing. Almost four months had passed, and I was still in the spiral.

I tried a lot. I tried to learn new skills and tried taking interest in the politics. I read almost five books on the politics, economics, and geographies to understand the structure of Hind, Southern Hind and the parts that are not yet discovered.

I tried to work as a volunteer in the custody of letters, trying to help the minister, but nothing seems to be working.

It wasn't like I had the pressure to get married. Nobody was asking me to get married or get into a relationship with somebody or try courting, at least.

Nobody was interested or asking me. Maybe it was just my mind who was playing tricks on me, who was telling me that I had this emptiness inside me that could only be fulfilled if I had a man by my side.

A part of me did know that I didn't need anyone. I could live my life alone, single, and my family would not say anything about it.

They would be okay with it.

The other part understood the happiness, the liveliness, the fulfilment I would get, if I had a man.

Somewhere I had this feeling that if I would take too much time in choosing a man, the possibilities of me getting someone who is made for me, or maybe sent by God, or maybe someone who fits me like a puzzle, would go away.

And the nearer we were getting to the Ishwaran's wedding, the lonelier I felt. She looked so happy; she looked so exotic and beautiful. Although Ekaah and Ishu were still not talking a lot, or behaving like an actual couple, I could see the effect they were having on each other.

She would feel nervous, happy, and alive around him. There was this part of her who was seeking his attention at all times. He visited a few times, and they tried to sneak, more like he tried to make her sneaksomewhere, out of her chamber and take her to the secluded places where they could talk with each other and finish the unfinished conversations.

As I thought about the unfinished conversation, I couldn't help but remember how he left me.

After this long, there was no null or no emptiness in me with him going.

He was gone, and I had accepted that he was not going to be mine and I was not going to be his.

I had accepted it. Now I was just trying to get over it, or maybe I would never get over him or whatever we had; basically, we didn't have anything, but still my heart was not ready to accept that there was nothing.

Two months ago, when I received a beautiful letter from Agni, which said that he was missing me terribly and he couldn't wait any longer to propose to me and make me his wife, I just had to say yes.

It hurt me deeply to see a man longing for me and I was not reverting to his feelings and emotions. A part of me could understand him, because I had been in his place.

I could understand how it feels when someone disregards your feelings and emotions and doesn't answer your letters.

I could relate to him, and no matter how bold and rebellious I was, it hurt me to hurt someone and knowing that Agni took care of me when I was going through something I couldn't even describe, he was right there, he was with me, he took part in the exploration I wanted to do, basically, he did everything I wanted him to do, and he was there, also, he did a lot of things without me asking. So somewhere I could conclude that he understood me.

The other had also understood that there would be so many things that he won't be able to understand and he won't be able to do.

Doing all the calculations, the positives, the negatives, I had finally reached to one conclusion that Agni was the best man for me.

It would be so easy to get married to him. My parents would allow easily. There won't be any fights, there won't be any wars, there won't be any rebellion or arguments. I wasn't still sure, but I felt that way.

So answering one of his letters, I told him that I was ready. He could now come to my kingdom and ask for my hand or do whatever a man does to make a woman his. It felt like some mountain had shifted off my chest. I didn't know how else to react.

A dozen of letters, each mentioning that someone is waiting for you, someone is longing for you, and someone is trying to make you theirs.

Obviously, I had to say yes.

I didn't know what it meant.

I didn't know the future.

All I knew was that I would go through anything, good or bad, with steel in my heart.

Even if something wrong would happen, I would have my parents by my side, especially my father. I was rather close to my Chot. Kaakusa rather than my parents, but still this family could die for me. If there was one thing that I could give them in return, was the pride and legacy.

I didn't know how my mind had shifted to all these things, because I couldn't even recognise my own self, my own transition through these six months. But, I guess, was for good.

Five months later, after I had come back from the Mahrangarh, Agni came to Suryagarh.

I knew why he had come to the kingdom, yet I played dumb and tried not to get ready or stay in my chamber as I usually do.

“Princess,” suddenly an attendee called me and I looked up from the political book I was reading, “Have you heard that a handsome prince has come to the kingdom and he is from far away?” she said and I shook my head, “No,”

“Do you know it takes the houses that float on the water to make them come here?” She asked, and I tried not to smile.

Everyone looked excited about him.

“Do you know that he is only a mile away from the kingdom, and Ranaji and Ranisa are preparing for his arrival? Don't you want to meet him? I think he's coming to fix the marriage alliance with you.” She said with excitement.

And I still shook my head, answering. “I don't think so. Maybe there is some political reason behind that.”

“What kind of political reason would a prince from very, very far away have with our king? I am sure that he is here for you, and do you know that there are talks about your marriage around the corner?” She said with excitement, and my brows knit with confusion.

"What do you mean? What kind of talks?" I couldn't stop asking and closed the book to look straight into her eyes.

She hesitated, looking back at me, and shook her head. "I don't know, princess. I just heard that after Princess Ishwaran's wedding, it will be your wedding next."

A long pause of silence followed between us, and she just stood like a frozen stone. “I am sorry if I said something wrong.” She said with a hesitant smile.

Noticing she was getting scared with me. I smiled and shook my head. “There is nothing like that. I was just interested in knowing what they were talking about me,” I sat and she smiled before returning to her work.

For the rest of the afternoon, I stayed in my chamber, not knowing what to do. I couldn't eat because I had these knots in my stomach. It was scary and excited at the same time.

I couldn't help but imagine that maybe at this moment my father and he were talking about the marriage or maybe the other things. I didn't know; it made me smile.

At the same time, it was making me nervous. How would I look into my parents' eyes after knowing that someone has proposed for me? How would I say yes? How would I look at myself after being accepted as someone's fiance?

Suddenly, an attendee rushed to my chamber, and I looked up at her from the ground. My feet halted in the running steps which I was nervously moving from one to the other corner of the chamber.

“Princess Ranaji is asking for you,” She said, and my hands immediately went to my stomach, knotting inappropriately.

“Baapusa is asking for me?” I asked and she nodded in response.

“But for what?” I asked and she shook her head, “I don't know, maybe he wants you to meet the guest, or maybe for the lunch,”

I nodded, understanding that it would definitely be for the lunch and I asked the attendee to quickly make me look presentable.

It took them a while and they asked if I wanted to cover my head with the dupatta.

I asked why did I need to cover my head? They replied that the guest was joining in for the lunch as well, and I denied saying I wasn't comfortable with the dupatta.

I would stay as I would want to. Also, if Maasa would feel like that she would ask me to.

I picked a beautiful pink and light green colored Lehnga and it was designed by my Badi Kaakisa. I loved it the most.

And, since I felt happy, I thought to wearing it. Ishu and Shree joined me for the lunch.

“You know, jiji. It could be a bait to tie you up with someone fool,” Shree said and I tried to play smart by knitting my brows and asking, “What do you mean?”

Ishu smiled and pulled Shree to her side. “She is just talking rubbish,” Ishu said and I smiled.

“By the way, Ishu, when is our Jija Ji planning to visit the kingdom again?” I asked and she immediately nudged into my shoulder and pushed me away.

I almost tripped into my steps that I walked passed Shree towards the side and hit into the pillar.

And, then we all burst into laughter and Ishu came running back. “Sorry, jiji, sorry,”

“Hahahaha, I think you are gaining weight and power even before the wedding,” I said and as shred was laughing, almost falling to the ground in the corner, I said to Ishu, “Do you know how do they gain weight after the wedding?”

Her brows knit in confusion and the laughter vanished off her face. “How, jiji?”

I smiled and raised my brows with the hands, “Even I don't know,”

She rolled her eyes and nudged her elbow into me, “Jiji!” she cried and I laughed.

Shree came back and suddenly our sight fell on kaakusa approaching us, “My children,”

He handed us over the bunch of grapes he was eating and placed his arm around me and rushed me a little ahead of Ishu and Shree.

“What happened?” I asked.

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